CPR Principle #10: Healthy Boundaries

As Christians, we’re called to love. To give. To lay ourselves down just like Christ laid himself down for us. That means loving even our enemies (Matthew 5:43–45; Luke 6:27–28; Romans 12:17–21). Serving them. Refusing to seek revenge. Choosing patience. Offering total forgiveness. A Christian Philosophy of Relationship really is that radical—and then some. The last nine CPR principles have made that clear.

But CPR #10 shows the other side of the coin: Sometimes love says “no.” Sometimes the most Christlike thing you can do is draw a line. Sometimes the best way to lead someone to Jesus is through church discipline. Paul wasn’t afraid to do that. Speaking of a man engaged in open sin, Paul told the Corinthian church:

“You are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.” —1 Corinthians 5:5

That’s not cruelty; that’s clarity. Paul's goal wasn’t to punish. His goal was salvation. In Matthew 18, Jesus himself told us there are times when a person needs to be treated like an outsider. Not because we hate them. Because they need to see clearly that sin cuts off fellowship. Sometimes the kindest thing a church can do is say, “Until there’s repentance, you’re not welcome here.”

Boundaries like that aren’t a violation of love. They’re an expression of it. Paul again:

“If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.” —2 Thessalonians 3:10

That’s a boundary. Not out of spite, but to force the issue. If you keep feeding someone who refuses to work, you’re not helping—you’re enabling. In love, Paul says to let them go hungry.

Here is another passage that teaches the concept of boundaries:

“Make no friendship with a man given to anger… lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” —Proverbs 22:24–25

If someone’s anger is shaping you, step back. Boundaries protect more than just us. They also keep sin from spreading.

Even Jesus had boundaries. When the crowds were pressing in, he withdrew to desolate places to pray (Mark 1:35). He knew when to engage and when to pull back.

So, yes, CPR is bold in its willingness to love and give. It dares to love sacrificially. It flings open the doors and reaches across enemy lines. Christ himself crossed the divide from heaven to earth, from life to death, to save us.

But sometimes, to love like Christ means drawing a line. Not every door stays open. Not every window gets propped. Not every behavior gets a pass. Jesus drew boundaries. So did Paul. So did Abraham, Noah, and Samuel. And so must we. The wisdom is knowing when.

May God give us the courage to love without fear, and the strength to say “no” when it’s time.

And with that, our series on CPR comes to an end.