People enter relationships for many different reasons. For example, they may wish to alleviate loneliness, find mutual emotional support, enjoy activities with someone, build a family, develop a team that enables winning or higher productivity at work, or increase their social status. Some of these reasons are morally better than others, and many can be consistent with a Christian Philosophy of Relationship (CPR). However, in CPR, there is only one ultimate goal a Christian should have in every one of their relationships: to lead the other person to Jesus for the glory of Jesus.
Here’s how the logic goes:
CPR requires me to love the other person.
Genuine love wants the very best for the other person.
The very best anyone can ever have is Christ.
Therefore, CPR requires me to have the goal of leading others to Christ.
This logic helps Christians understand the universal nature of the Great Commission:
Matthew 28:19–20: "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."
Every relationship we are in is a discipling relationship of some kind. We are either helping lost people find their way to Jesus or helping saved people grow closer to him. We can give them nothing better than Christ, so we must follow his instructions in the Sermon on the Mount:
Matthew 5:16: "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
Whatever other goals we have for our relationships, this must be the ultimate reason: to lead people to Jesus. This includes our spouses, children, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and even the folks at church.
Furthermore, setting our ultimate goal in all relationships as leading others to Christ helps us to reduce selfishness in our own hearts over time. When we focus on Christ’s glory and the eternal good of others, it shifts our perspective away from self-centered desires, such as seeking validation, control, or personal gain. Instead, we learn to prioritize the needs and spiritual well-being of those around us. This Christ-centered approach transforms our interactions, as it compels us to serve others with humility, patience, and sacrificial love. Over time, as we practice this selfless mindset, the Holy Spirit works within us to refine our motives, align our hearts with God’s purposes, and grow us in Christlikeness. By seeking to glorify Christ in every relationship, we become less concerned with ourselves and more focused on the joy of seeing others experience the love and grace of Jesus.
Remember, CPR #1—the principle of finding full satisfaction, identity, and security in Christ alone—is the foundation of the entire framework. If we are not finding everything we need in Christ, we won’t have the desire or motivation to lead others to him. However, when we are personally overwhelmed by his goodness and grace, we naturally become eager to help others experience the same joy and fulfillment we have found in him.